At the age of 16, full of hope, I sat inside the neurologist, waiting for the results of previous tests. What could be in me that caused me to lose consciousness one day in the kitchen, fall to the ground that December, and still experience the first seizure of my life that day? I have no recollection of the day I opened my eyes in the ambulance, I didn’t know what my name was, I didn’t even recognize my own mom.
Months later, my neurologist diagnosed me with epilepsy. A nervous system disorder that causes recurrent seizures. From then on, my life changed.

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| Epilepsy and Medication |
Refusal and shame
My first reaction was not only not to take my illness seriously, but I didn’t even want to hear about it. Ignoring the illness came from feeling ashamed. Because this disease is characterized by great stigma.
My friends have told each other many times that you look like you have an epileptic seizure when they did bullshit, which of course everyone laughed at.
My condition
When my seizures started to accumulate over the next few years, I already knew from here that I had to accept that I had this disease. I had to learn to live with it, which isn’t always invisible to my friends.
There are several types of epilepsy, it can affect people in several ways. I have been diagnosed with primary generalized epilepsy and have generalized tonic-clonic seizures with loss of consciousness and severe nerve twitching.
When I woke up from these seizures, I couldn’t remember anything for the next 24 hours. My tongue was full of bites, my body had injuries, all my muscles ached.
For me, the worst part is when I wake up after a seizure when I see the terrified faces of my friends and family as they look at me. I want to apologize to them for causing me so much fear. After every seizure, I’m afraid to go to bed because I’m afraid I’m not going to get up the next day.
Talk to other people
It’s not easy to share this information with others without having a dramatic impact. For the first 3-4 years, I always told my friends, co-workers about my epilepsy, and what to do if I had a seizure. I didn’t feel like I always had to tell me my condition because I’d rather have talked about an interesting book I’m reading right now, my love life, or other social experiences.
When I made myself aware that epilepsy had become a part of my life, I also knew that I didn’t expect anyone to take any special treatment to see me differently.
My epilepsy may have dominated many times when I talked to people, "Yeah, but you don't really have epilepsy." Many times I have felt that people think that I just invented this disease for myself, just to notice me.
Because I had big bouts, I wasn’t able to drive. It’s always been frustrating, especially since I lived in the suburbs and many times I could only get there by car. I had an acquaintance who said, "I don't understand why you couldn't drive." I may not have had daily seizures, but I often had to enlighten people as to why I couldn’t get a license. I knew these conversations stemmed from a misunderstanding that stigmatizes this disease, making it hard to talk about. Many people have admitted that they know little about this condition.
Road to acceptance
When my mom read about this disease, I saw how many people in the world live with epilepsy. That’s why I didn’t understand why more people don’t talk about this disease. By then I knew I was not alone. Epilepsy is not a rare disease. This made it easier to talk to people about epilepsy, which is just a part of my life.
There are moments when it’s not easy for me to bring up this disease. Like when I have a date. I'm afraid I have to tell him, I'm afraid he'll look at me differently afterward. A situation like this is when I’m in a job interview or at my new job, I have to explain to my boss and co-workers what to do if I might have a seizure at work.
While I have a hard time talking to others about epilepsy, I get a lot of encouragement and love from my family and friends. Acceptance helped me the most from myself as well as my relatives.
It has been 12 years since he was diagnosed with epilepsy. I have transformed my life so that I can rule out the factors that cause my seizures. What triggers and what doesn’t, I had to figure it out for myself, I think it depends on the person who triggers it. At first, these changes were frustrating, but they are now completely normal for me. Enough sleep, taking medication properly ... etc.
Break down the stigma
An outsider may have plenty of questions about epilepsy. IF I’m in a company that doesn’t know about my epilepsy and I come out of the party too early, they think and I don’t like their company. Even in the early years, it bothered me, but today I don’t care.
Living with an invisible disease is not easy, but over time it will only be easier to talk about it in front of others. I know that if someone looked at me, they wouldn’t even think I was epileptic because I don’t show any signs of looks. I know that the stigma surrounding the disease not only makes it difficult for patients to talk about it without fear, but it also does not reduce the lack of information.
Just talking openly about any disease, whether invisible or not, can only reduce the stigma surrounding the disease. It took me a long time to be brave enough to talk openly about epilepsy with people. And I feel no shame that I have to live with that.
If my epilepsy is invisible, it doesn’t even have to make it invisible to society.
Source: http://mashable.com/2016/11/22/epilepsy-invisible-illness/#T9Kjgjgv8qqq
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